First bath (sponge)
Sleeping with Daddy
Super Cute
Just some pics to enjoy. Do the nights ever get easier??? So far they are miserable. Good thing this babe is so cute or I might pull my hair out. As it is I just cry...all the time. They never told me the hormones are worse after you have the baby! Also I feel like all I do is feed this kid. Advice needed...do I wake him up to feed him or wait till he wakes on his own and is hungry? Can't figure out a schedule that works for us both. Pleas say this gets easier...HELP!
11 comments:
Andrea-
He is the cutest baby ever. I've been praying that God will give you and Dan strength to get through these hard days and as you adjust to your new life. I hope you feel well. I can't wait to see you and meet him- I'll be home for a few days that week after the 4th- can I come over?
love you all,
erin
p.s i think you wait until he's hungry, but I don't really have any experience with that :)
Andrea--
He is definitely cute! I love that first picture after his bath--such wide eyes. And who can resist a cute Daddy and baby sleeping picture? I have many of Nate and Becca in the first few weeks.
It will get easier. I know this time seems like it will last forever, but it doesn't. Sometimes it feels like just yesterday the Becca was born and now she is two years old!
It is pretty normal to have what they call the Baby Blues after your baby is born. I know I broke down a couple of times in the first week or two when things were hard and I felt overwhelmed. But post-partum depression is a real thing to watch out for. If you don't start feeling better in the next few weeks, make sure to talk with someone about it--your doctor, Dan, etc--and make sure they take you seriously. If I was at home, I could find some of the resources they gave us from my MOPS group on post-partum depression, but I'm at my parents'. If you don't start feeling better, email me and I can contact my friend Jen who really struggled with feeling super sad for a long time after her son was born a couple of years ago. She takes that whole thing really seriously because so many people didn't take her seriously when she was so sad still 6 months after he was born. I will pray that you start feeling less overwhelmed and more balanced, though.
There are as many answers to your questions on breastfeeding as there are commenters to comment. Scheduled feeding, demand/cue feeding, routines, etc. There's a lot out there. You've read the Baby Whisperer, right? We found the routine in there to be helpful and the advice to watch your baby for cues that he is hungry even before he cries. Jesse is still very new to this whole feeding thing too, so it will take time to get him adjusted to something that works for both of you. I'm not a fan of scheduled feeding for breastfed babies, since it's hard to tell how much they get at each feeding and they digest the milk so much faster than formula fed babies. You could try to follow a routine at least, as mentioned in the Baby Whisperer, and see how Jesse does with that. I remember that Becca fed for about 30-40 minutes at a time and I ended up watching a lot of movies and reading while I fed her. I also wondered whether or not to wake Becca to feed her. I think at first I ended up waking her up after four hours or so during the day to try to feed her and after 5 hours during the night at first.
Not sure if all that helps or not. But know that it should get easier. Will keep praying for you.
Andrea,
I am sorry to hear that things are hard and that Jesse is not sleeping much at night. I have heard that a lot of babies have their days and nights mixed up when they are newborns. Does he wake up more in the night or in the day to feed? If it's more in the night it might help to wake him up and feed him every three hours during the day. When Andrew was small we would take off all his clothes and just have him in a diaper when he fed to keep him from falling asleep. Also when they are feeding you can stroke their check to get them to suck. Also, one tip that I thought was helpful for breast feeding was watch their ear is it moving...then you know he is sucking. Then you know that he is eating. I only breast feed Andrew for the first few weeks b/c it was a real battle. I will tell more on my blog later...but when I had a good feed he fed for 25 minutes on one breast and then I would top him up a few minutes later on the second breast for 10 to 15 minutes. Also when he had a good feed sucked for 25 minutes or so he would come off the breast "drunk with milk". That is what the midwife called it. It was a good feeling as a mom. Like I said I had real trouble getting Andrew to feed so he is now bottle fed and that is different. But we did feed him every three hours from 6:00/7:00 in the morning until 10:00/11:00 at night. When Andrew was newborn he feed at 5:00/6:00am,9:00/10:00am,12:00/1:00pm,2:00/3:00pm, and then I would feed him at 5:00/5:30pm and then at 7:00pm and then at 10:00/11:00pm. (John did this last feeding when Andrew was on a bottle) Then during the night he would wake up around 1:00am, 4:00am, and then at 6:00am or 7:00am. Sometimes he would sleep from 1:00/2:00 and then to 5:00am. By six weeks most nights he slept from 10:30 to 2:00 and then from 2:00 to 6:00. Once you can pump, after 6 weeks, then Dan can do the 10:00pm feeding and you can go to bed early. I think next time, if I breast feed, I might do a formula feed at 10:30 and breast feed the rest of the time BUT that is just me! You can always pump around 8:30/9:00pm and then Dan can feed Jesse and you can go to bed. I would get Jesse on a schedule of feeding every 3 hours during the day so that he gets as much food during the day as possible. Then maybe he can go 4 or 5 hours at night. I have heard from moms that boys tend to eat more often then girls but I don't know if that is true. Andrew is 3 months and still needs a bottle during the night. He makes it from 10:30 to 2:30 or sometimes even to 3:30/4:00 but he is not sleeping through the night yet. It's really hard not getting good sleep! I had a really hard time those first few weeks. I cried a lot those first few weeks b/c I was having such a hard time feeding Andrew and I felt so guilty for giving in and bottle feeding him. It's very emotional! Also, it took me about 6 weeks to get really attached to Andrew. I had to get to know him. I loved him right away but I had a hard time really feeling like he was my baby. His first smile happened at around 4 weeks and by six weeks he was really starting to interact with John and I that helped a lot! Give yourself time. Crying is very normal and feeling sad is normal but Tricia is right it should get a lot better in a week or so. But I am still more emotional then normal. I still get upset easier and feel down faster then I did before and I don't have as much patience. All a result of not getting enough rest. John and I both have had many hard nights but it does get easier!!! It gets a lot easier week by week as you get to know your baby. You will start to know what his different cries mean. Hang in there and get help!If any of your friends can come over to see you. Have them watch your baby while you take a nap and then you can enjoy a chat after your nap. Take naps when you can and let your house go! Once Jesse is a little older you can find time to clean and do laundry but for now just sleep!!!!!
I have no idea - I am just offerning to bring a sleep book when we come down state this week that my mom, got us that I have not read but I can look and see if it may be something that would help! From what I know it is all about babies and famlies and sleep.
You are normal. I'm an emotional roller coaster after I have a baby. Take our advice, though--if you don't feel better, or your sad feelings start to scare you, talk to someone.
Schedules are really hard for breastfed babies. But rhythms are good things to shoot for. But it can take a while--be easy on yourself, and Jesse, and remember that the first six weeks can be a blur. Tough to go through, but then you forget about it later on.
Since we co-sleep with babies, I hardly wake up all night. Once the baby and I figure out how to nurse lying down together (takes a few tries), then I just latch them on when they fuss and we both go back to sleep. Easy peasy.
If he's eating well during the day, I wouldn't bother waking him up at night. Let him sleep until his hunger wakes him up. How do you know if he's eating well? Make sure he gets lots of wet diapers, and I always like newborns to eat every 2-3 hours for the first few weeks. Go with your instinct. But since he wasn't premature nor small, I wouldn't wake him up at night. You both need rest!
Thinking and praying for all of you. He sure is cute!
Uh this baby is driving me mad. I feel like he want so eat every hour today. And he screams and screams....plus I have him on his tummy to sleep which apperntly is SUPER bad but it's the only way he will sleep on his own with out one of us holding him. Please tell me that you mom's have done this too??? I feel crazy. It is 3:30am and I am awake because I am afraid my baby is going to die in his sleep while on his tummy! AHHHHHHHHHHH!
I put Elly to sleep on her tummy for naps during the day, when I was awake and could check on her. I understand the desperation--both of my kids cried constantly for at least 10 weeks (Maya was five months before she calmed down, but she was premature).
But you can't stay awake at night with him--you need sleep, too. I'd recommend you try co-sleeping (if you feel comfortable with it) because they usually fall asleep on their side during/after nursing. Just keep the bed shoved against the wall, with rolled up towels in the crack between the mattress and the wall, and keep the bed clear of covers and extra pillows.
If you're comfortable with the belly sleeping, and it's working for him, then go with it. I know moms who have. But if it makes you worry at night, you may have to try something else...
Hang in there! It *does* get easier, even if it doesn't feel like it right now.
Have you tried swaddling him REALLY tight and then laying him on his side? Prop him up on his side with a rolled up blanket behind him and a small one in front of him pressed into his belly so the top of the front blanket is lined up with the bottom of mouth. , but the back blanket is against the back of his head and all the way down his back.
If he likes to sleep on his tummy this may help him feel that security, also you can use this front blanket to keep his pacifier in his mouth (without worrying about suffocating). I hope you can picture this. The front blanket sort of gently presses against the pacifier, but if he wants to push it out and cry he can, it just won't fall out so easily.
Swaddling includes tucking his arms down by his sides. In the hospital a lot of Moms would say "oh my baby doesn't like being swaddled" but as soon as I would do it, the kid would fall asleep, the key is getting the swaddle right. I can help you with all of this when I come in a few days.
Also, for breastfeeding, did anyone show you the football hold? You should call my sister. I was telling her how you were doing and she really wants to help, she felt all of this so recently and right now she's off school so she has time. If you want her number, tell me. She's great to complain to and she'll make you laugh, guaranteed. I love you and I'm praying for you babe.
I did not put Andrew on his stomach b/c he did not mind sleeping on his back but my friend Anne (was Malekoote) has always put her son, Pieter, on his stomach to sleep at night b/c he had gas troubles and the pressure on his stomach helped him sleep. Pieter is the same age as Andrew. (3 months ) He cried a lot his first few months by now is much happier. Can you have Jesse's craddle right by your bed within a hands reach. Then you can always reach over to check on him or just put your hand on him for a few minutes if he gets upset. OR if you are comfortable with him in bed with you that might work well also. I could not sleep if Andrew was with me but now I sometimes take him in bed with me in the morning or take a nap with him during the day. Even though he is not breast feed he still likes being close to mommy. He does sleep in his own bed at night b/c that is what John and I wanted but you need to do what is best for you to get sleep!!! If Jesse being in bed with you gets you sleep without worry then do it! You can always get him use to his own bed at a latter time when he does not need to feed so often.
Derge- (I am working hard to stop calling you that but as you can see 'Can't teach an old dog new tricks!'-I will try harder) As for your bambino, it will get better. It just sounds like Jesse is getting used to his surroundings and wants to include you as much as possible. :o) He will find his groove, and so will you. Keep asking questions and don't be afraid to take a trip to the grocery store while a family member watches Jesse. (Even if it is just to take a moment to breathe- those moments of regrouping is good for the soul. AND SANITY.) As for eating Caden worked best when he found his own schedule... and told me when he was hungry. As said already it is hard to know how much they are actually ingesting with breast feeding. ALSO babies grow much faster and need more nourishment on different days... (This is still an indicator for growth spurts with Caden.) As it feels like you are the local dairy bar open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week- it IS for a good cause. (And will get easier.) If you haven't found breast feeding lotion (I nicknamed "Utter Butter") start planning your trip to Target. It comes in a purple tube and it's real name is Lansinoh Breast Creme. It is safe for you and for Jesse.
Keep that chin up and keep talking with us! We love you!
Em
Just checkin in with you... How are things going? Any better?
Praying 4 U.
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