(big sigh) I am so tired. I feel like Jesse will not stop crying! He's driving me crazy. I am home all day by myself and calling Dan does not help because he can't come rushing home to hold the baby, which is all I really need so I can go into another room and have silence. It is silent now...he finally fell asleep. Praise the Lord. I just have this awful headache and the screaming baby is not helping it. That sound is becoming my least favorite in the world. It wouldn't be so bad if I could just figure out what he want but he just seems to want to scream! A LOT. It just started really... I feed him, he screams, I change him, he screams, I hold him, he screams, I "insert any activity", he screams...what is going on! I can't take much more of this. It is better when Dan is home cause I don't feel so alone. It is very scary being the mom and knowing that I am the one who this baby needs most. (For food and comfort and stuff) I am feeling overwhelmed by the responsibility and he is only 4 1/2 weeks old! UH! I just need to vent and writing sometimes helps. I just wish there was someone here like poof whenever I needed them, and they would know
exactly what I needed and how to help me and I would be able to sleep and eat. Seriously how am I supposed to eat when the baby won't stop screaming. I suppose I should eat now when he is sleeping but then when do I sleep??? I am going crazy.
On a happier note....Beth and her beautiful son Caleb came to Michigan this past weekend. So we met for Breakfast and our babies had their first play date:) They mostly slept through it but Beth and I had fun holding
each others child. Caleb has a little cold and his little baby cough just breaks your heart. I wish they lived closer...it was so fun to have a new mom around...plus I love Beth:) Here are some pics (this was also the first time we took Jesse out to a restaurant...he did well) The first one is Me & Jesse and Beth & Caleb. The second one is just the boys hanging out:)
I know everyone says "it gets easier". (taking care of your baby that is) I thought it was getting easier and then suddenly it got really hard all over again. This parent stuff is so difficult. That's not even the right word...I am not sure what the word is. Pray for my sanity...
On a happier note....Beth and her beautiful son Caleb came to Michigan this past weekend. So we met for Breakfast and our babies had their first play date:) They mostly slept through it but Beth and I had fun holding each others child. Caleb has a little cold and his little baby cough just breaks your heart. I wish they lived closer...it was so fun to have a new mom around...plus I love Beth:) Here are some pics (this was also the first time we took Jesse out to a restaurant...he did well) The first one is Me & Jesse and Beth & Caleb. The second one is just the boys hanging out:) 
5 comments:
You know, Andrea, it does get easier. But it won't feel like it right now. And that's okay--pretending it's not hard would just sap even more energy out of you. I empathize. I feel your frustration, and validate that it's really, really, really hard right now. I've been there, and for me, I wanted two things: 1.) A personal assistant/mother's helper, and 2.) For others to understand how truly difficult life was for me in those moments.
Maya cried for the first several months of her life. I clearly remember spending my days walking around with Maya, slinging her, bouncing her, feeding her, trying to keep her from crying. I'd call Jason multiple times a day for support and just to vent. As soon as he walked in the door, I'd hand him the baby. We would take turns eating; one would walk the floor with Maya, and the other would eat. Then we would switch. Those were long, hard, days. It didn't matter how much I loved my baby; it was still just plain hard.
The only respite I had was sleeping--she would sleep so well with me that our nights and naps were bliss. She was happy when we slept together, so we did that a lot! (For the first seven months, that is. But that's another story!)
I don't have any grand advice, other than what you may already be doing: take it one day at a time, invite family over to help (if that's available), and remember that it will all pass in time.
I feel like you have have channeled my feelings Serina! Those are the two things I want too and I do spend my days pretty much like you do. Also he is being very difficult when it comes to nursing. Sometimes it is fine other times he will latch on for like 5 minutes and then start screaming bloody murder...like I literaly hurt him in some way. He is fine then in an all out tantrum. But you never know when he will be like this. I don't know if its my milk or if he is just too lazy at that point...it's driving me crazy!!!!!!!!!! Thanks for all sympathy/advice...I do not enjoy this time very much.
We pray for the three of you every night. I am sorry that things are so hard - I love you!
I won't pretend to understand because I don't... after all Caden was really a mellow baby. Nevertheless, it did get easier... the things that were stressful got easier. I did find that when Caden tried Dr. Brown's bottles that helped. It helped when Curt wanted to feed and bond with him, me for space, and Caden for any gas or reflux issues. I don't want to give you advice, since all babies are different...yet if I would give advice, that would be it. (that and I too am in need of a girlfriend visit.) Nonetheless I am praying for you.
E
On breastfeeding: my best advice is don't give up! It took me a good eight weeks to get in a good rhythm with nursing my first. I don't say that to discourage you, but actually to encourage...rarely do folks tell you how much work breastfeeding can be, especially nowadays, when our mothers and grandmothers don't live with us and give us all their sage advice. But it's absolutely worth the work. Once your nursing relationship has solidified, you'll wonder why it was ever so hard.
There's nothing wrong with your milk. Drink lots of water, and don't be afraid to just stop a bad nursing session and resume in 20 minutes. Is there a lactation consultant at your local pediatric practice or hospital? I can't tell you how much that helped me! They gave me different positions to try, and had lots of advice. Also, they weighed Maya before and after a feeding with a special scale, so I had proof that she was actually eating something! It was really reassuring.
Thinking of you and praying for you all.
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